Imagine your disappointment whenever you find something you think is good turns out to be sour! This is a colossal experience! All through our learning years imagine how everything you thought was good turned into its opposite. Now, the condition of the soul is trained to be suspicious of all 'good things', and these include love, and relationships.
As you get stronger and more focused because of your Rosicrucian Meditation Exercises, you must notice there is a wisdom that comes from life, and especially around things of the desire body.
In our Course 003 on the Astral Body you are instructed to fill the soul with higher aspirations such as higher art, poetry, and music, and also the Higher Thoughts of Humanities Teachers, Poets, and Artists. These all are the result of even Higher Spiritual Beings! In the book The Secrets of Eden there we find lots more detailed instructions for higher spiritual development.
As the soul turns around within itself, it does not want to condemn everything, and so there a feeling comes to every student of a wandering in a lost sea without any horizon! But one can reflect on our teachings, and feel comforted for it is temporary, and will pass. It even has a name (it is so famous among the students of all Ages) it is called 'the neither word'.
Keep your calm, and use your time to balance and focus. Your goal is still ahead, and it is a beautiful goal you are seeking! One day it will appear and you will be amazed at the beautiful world of Spiritual Nature.