A good discussion needs some conflict to get it going. Warmth is also tension, and too much spoils the food. A female touch of kindness is welcome, but so is the strength and power of the male. Each has to take on the challenge of truth, sincerity, kindness, boldness, or forgiveness, each in turn and at the right time. It is the dance, one should not be afraid of it. But the skill is owned by the artist, where others will fail and must fail for lack of temperament and skill. I like to think like this: the greater the tension, the better is the feeling which comes from resolution. It helps in all tight situations - and it's message is this: keep working towards the goal of resolution, keep your heart alive and speak what is there, and feel how wonderful everyone will feel when the Whole-ness of Spirit has resolved the parts.